Cockroaches and Purpose
On September 29th, I had a dream about cockroaches. In the dream, I walked into my room to discover my bed was covered in cockroaches of all sizes, from fly size to two feet long, who would suction themselves to bare skin like a kind of flying leech.
The next Wednesday, October 10th, we had our first discussion on The Metamorphosis. My dream about cockroaches couldn't have had better timing. The first day, we talked a lot about how The Metamorphosis is dream-like, from the bizarre floor plan of Gregor's floor plan to the immediate appearance of the chief clerk when he doesn't show up to work. But one of the things I found strange about book I of The Metamorphosis was the reaction of Gregor's family, and especially his father, to his transformation.
I couldn't understand why Gregor's father was so violent toward Gregor once he became an insect. Putting aside any past issues the two may have, if it's obvious to the family that this giant insect is Gregor, then their aggressive response seems odd. They know Gregor won't hurt them, and even if they think becoming an insect might have changed that, it's evident fairly quickly that it hasn't. So when Gregor's father beat him back into his room, it confused me.
But when I remembered my dream, I realized that it sort of made sense. While the cockroaches featured in my dream were not transformed people, they were giant bugs in my room. And my dream self had an immediate natural response of terror. Bugs bring out disgust in most humans, so the reaction of Gregor's father makes sense in that respect. Insects are so unlike humans that we are disturbed by them. They lack fur, they have strange eyes, they crawl over us with a disturbing feeling that makes us shudder. Seeing a giant one is cause for alarm. Add that to the dream logic of The Metamorphosis, and it starts to make sense that Gregor's father attacks him.
But another more dream-like concept that occurred to me was insecurities. Dreams stem from your subconscious, and sometimes they can come from your insecurities. I think Gregor is insecure about his usefulness to his family. He works tirelessly to provide for his entire family, and as far as I can tell it doesn't seem like he and his father had the best relationship to begin with. His family is rather demanding in requiring Gregor to pay off their debt and let them live a somewhat luxurious life at the same time. I think Gregor fears being unable to do this for them and getting attacked, and these fears and insecurities come out as Gregor's father literally attacking him when he is unable to provide for him anymore.
As soon as he is no longer useful, Gregor is shut violently into his room, banned from interaction and treated with the minimum amount of care. Gregor fears not being useful to anyone. He can't find his place in the world without serving others. At work, he is helping his parents by paying off their debt, a plan that was sort of placed upon him at their demand. At home, he is planning to save money for Grete to go to the conservatory. Even his personal dream is to help someone else. Gregor doesn't care where he goes in life because he's always existed to serve his family. Maybe that's why he was so content to die -- he was no longer a help, and therefore had no more purpose.
And in case anyone was wondering, my dream ended with Fing fumigating my room.
The next Wednesday, October 10th, we had our first discussion on The Metamorphosis. My dream about cockroaches couldn't have had better timing. The first day, we talked a lot about how The Metamorphosis is dream-like, from the bizarre floor plan of Gregor's floor plan to the immediate appearance of the chief clerk when he doesn't show up to work. But one of the things I found strange about book I of The Metamorphosis was the reaction of Gregor's family, and especially his father, to his transformation.
I couldn't understand why Gregor's father was so violent toward Gregor once he became an insect. Putting aside any past issues the two may have, if it's obvious to the family that this giant insect is Gregor, then their aggressive response seems odd. They know Gregor won't hurt them, and even if they think becoming an insect might have changed that, it's evident fairly quickly that it hasn't. So when Gregor's father beat him back into his room, it confused me.
But when I remembered my dream, I realized that it sort of made sense. While the cockroaches featured in my dream were not transformed people, they were giant bugs in my room. And my dream self had an immediate natural response of terror. Bugs bring out disgust in most humans, so the reaction of Gregor's father makes sense in that respect. Insects are so unlike humans that we are disturbed by them. They lack fur, they have strange eyes, they crawl over us with a disturbing feeling that makes us shudder. Seeing a giant one is cause for alarm. Add that to the dream logic of The Metamorphosis, and it starts to make sense that Gregor's father attacks him.
But another more dream-like concept that occurred to me was insecurities. Dreams stem from your subconscious, and sometimes they can come from your insecurities. I think Gregor is insecure about his usefulness to his family. He works tirelessly to provide for his entire family, and as far as I can tell it doesn't seem like he and his father had the best relationship to begin with. His family is rather demanding in requiring Gregor to pay off their debt and let them live a somewhat luxurious life at the same time. I think Gregor fears being unable to do this for them and getting attacked, and these fears and insecurities come out as Gregor's father literally attacking him when he is unable to provide for him anymore.
As soon as he is no longer useful, Gregor is shut violently into his room, banned from interaction and treated with the minimum amount of care. Gregor fears not being useful to anyone. He can't find his place in the world without serving others. At work, he is helping his parents by paying off their debt, a plan that was sort of placed upon him at their demand. At home, he is planning to save money for Grete to go to the conservatory. Even his personal dream is to help someone else. Gregor doesn't care where he goes in life because he's always existed to serve his family. Maybe that's why he was so content to die -- he was no longer a help, and therefore had no more purpose.
And in case anyone was wondering, my dream ended with Fing fumigating my room.
I think we all were somewhat horrified or shocked by Gregor's fathers' reaction after his transformation. Perhaps this was influenced by our ability to hear and see Gregor's side of the story since it's narrated by him. Or perhaps we just felt that we would have expected a little bit more compassion, especially from our parents. However, I do agree with you, in that we all somewhat have a hard time to really place ourself in anybody else's shoes other than Gregor's. Especially since the idea of a sibling turning into a giant but is such a ludicrous one that it never even crosses our minds how we would deal with that situation. I also think that your point about how we all (me at least) have that instinctual, squeamish, scream for your dad reaction when it comes to bugs. The larger the bug, the louder the scream. Therefore, I feel like it would be hypocritical of me to judge Gregor's father when I know fully well that I would probably be traumatized for life after seeing an insect the size of an actual human in my own home. While it makes me feel bad, I can't say that I blame Gregor's father, despite the negative impact his reactions had on Gregor's physical and emotional health.
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